need to see him whimpering like an injured animal, can he pleeease pleaaase lose a concerning amount of blood until he’s barely lucid. can i nurse him back to health like a baby bird pleeeeaaaaaseeeee
These guys would be the biggest hit at any Renaissance fair they went to.
An envoy from a kingdom in the far East comes to your hamlet and of course you give them a warm welcome!
Do you have any idea what access to the spice road would do for the tiny Dukedom of Fairground By the Budget Hilton?
One time I went to a Ren Faire where a guy went as a visiting dignitary from an I think imaginary but Ashanti-adjacent (iirc, it’s been a while) kingdom and people went nuts over it.
If you ever find yourself thinking “oh it’s only ██:00, I still have plenty of time before this turns into sleep deprivation” that is the devil speaking. Go to bed NOW before it’s too late
It’s so nice being on tumblr because you don’t even have to make your own post but people would still follow you anyways if you’re good at rebloging posts they like
Your hometown has “culture,” but does it have a 13 foot, bright orange, bug-eyed t-rex with weirdly human teeth
We are not the same
Oh yeah? Well my hometown has this fine late Victorian lad.
An allegedly real not at all shitty fake frog taxidermy that tourists pay real money to look at.
We have BLUCIFER. Killed his creator.
My hometown has this massive Paul Bunyan statue on top of a Cafe.
I see your Paul Bunyan and raise you The Big Chicken.
I see your large poultry and raise you Communist Cookie Monster mural.
This guy was at the center of a citywide mystery that tore neighborhoods apart in bitter rivalries and led dozens of people to write an anonymous con artist on the mayoral ballot.
You’re right. My home town had none I’d these. Just a funky lookin clock.
We have a drunken pink elephant with glasses.
And The Lauterbach Man (he used to hold a tire but it was replaced after 9/11. he also lost his head during a huge tornado about 10-ish years ago)
A large metallic Buck made of bumpers from cars that were totaled when they hit a big normal Buck.
Creepy Abe Lincoln at the State Fairgrounds
And the Corndog Couple.
Oh! And the auto parts store that has metal men ready to defend their property. Pretty sure they come alive at night.
We’ve got this fuckin thing. Everyone knows about Nessie, but Kingsley is the hero we deserve.
(Disclaimer: near me, not same town sadly)
We got fiberglass bison in random locations. This one is outside my favorite bookstore. Her name is Pearl.
Big blue bug!!!!!
They dress him up for the holidays
But my personal fav is this guy. Covid conscious big blue bug!!!!
not a permanent thing but I was reminded of my hometown’s annual Festive Lobster Traps for christmas. there are lights on there.
tommy the 4.5 ton crab represent
Mr. Trash Wheel is both cute and collects trash from the Baltimore Harbor
I love how ppl just do this sometimes to their potential ancestors. In the 25th century my descendants are gonna dive into old records and find a selfie of me, photoshop cybernetics onto me, and say I had the perfect face for being annoying about how it felt uploading my brain to the SolarNet while wearing stolen techpriest robes